Mommy Auto Piolot - 1999

1999 – After Nikque was born, I left my job as a consultant because I didn’t think continuing in that line of work was in her best interest. I returned to work at a new job in El Segundo, CA a few miles south of my apartment on June 1, 1999. Although the benefits were not as good, the pay was and I felt that this was a better choice for a mom. Before returning to work and actually before 1999, I begin looking for appropriate child care. I began to understand something I had peripherally heard for years, good child care was very hard to find, good and affordable infant care was even harder to find. When I enrolled Nikque at La Tiejera Center for Children, I was confident that she was in good hands. The monthly tuition was the second highest of any centers at $715 for five days a week and that required me to provide all of her daily meals. The most expensive center was over $1,000 /mo (the Knowledge Beginnings facility for Hughes employees had opened to the public after their center was not filled by Hughes employees) and the cost did include meals, but I liked this one better. So, here I was, with a child care that I liked and no, there was nothing lucky about finding it. It was pounding the pavement until my feet bleed (metaphorically speaking, of course), but Nikque was worth that effort as far as I was concerned. I dropped Nikque off in the morning and Rodney picked her up, but in hindsight, I wonder if he was a willing participant and simply accepted that arrangement because it was what I suggested. After all, he had been offered and declined to participate in the selection process so I really had no idea whether or not he was okay with the arrangement and he didn’t elaborate.

Soon after Nikque birth, I set about buying two of everything she needed. Rodney had complained substantially about his lack of financial readiness to care for a child, so I wanted to give him to opportunity to reach his financial objectives, pay off debts etc. In addition to buying two identical car seats which cost over $100 each, I also purchased two cribs, one for my apartment and one for Rodney’s. Well, technically I purchased two, but literally, I purchased one and the other one, Rodney purchased on the credit card that I had given to him on my account to purchase things that Nikque needed. I didn’t want Nikque to need for anything. Now it would have been much easier, to simply leave all this for him to decided and buy or not buy on his own. I could have counted on the fact that he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) afford the extra’s and then he would have to be more dependent on me to see Nikque, and would have to visit her at my place, right? No doubt that’s what a manipulator would do. Rodney has called me a manipulator to my face on many occasions, and no doubt behind my back, but the manipulator he kept looking over his shoulders for never materialized, not in my form anyway. I wanted Nikque to have the best life possible, and I believed with all my heart the best life included access to both parents, or at least I was going to give that a chance. If there was to be less than two parents, I determined that it should not be because I deprived Nikque her father, so, I never did. If anything, Nikque had a stronger bond with her father than she did with me during this year because I worked long hours in El Segundo - hours to long for a new mother. On December 1, 1999, I tendered my one month notice; December 31, 1999 was my last day. For three months, I was unemployed, I continued at to pay for part-time enrollment for Nikque at La Tiejera on Mon, Wed & Fri for a reduced monthly rate of $525 so I could look for work and to preserve my space there, but I enjoyed spending time with her. She was as delightful a baby as she is a child and I could take her with me just about anywhere without a problem. During that time, I used my savings and some of my 401k from a previous employer to make ends meet, but still remained self sufficient without any financial assistance (or offer of financial assistance from Rodney).