Rodney's Untreated Breakdown

Whether Rodney lost touch with reality after I served him the OSC filed August 4, 2004, or when he thought I intentionally caused Nikque to miss his wedding is as much a question as is was he ever in touch with reality? Or, is he simply an individual who does not tell the truth. Which ever it is, his anger, hostility and revenge took on an evil life of its own in 2004. His responsive declaration was untrue, his testimony was untrue and in 2005, the poison fruit of his destructive hostility came home to roost. Nikque’ self esteem melted away, her happiness and glow faded and she regressed to crying, tantrums and toileting accidents. I’m not so quick to say that this was all caused by her being dragged out screaming and crying, while Rodney and his wife insulted and degraded me right in front of her, but I do know that having that happen over and over, while trying to adjust to the changes brought about by going from preschool to kindergarten and the likely (and reported) as well as obvious changes in the dynamics of her father’s household when he married were all factors. Any loving parent would have seen this as a time that a child needed more support, not more difficulties, but Rodney either didn’t see that or didn’t know what it looked like. The stability she enjoyed in the first six weeks of school, with no problems going to bed at night and no problems getting up in the morning had disappeared by the end of winter recess and the anger and hostility in her build up to a boiling point that when she returned to my custody after the Christmas Holiday told me “Mommy, I “H”-Word Daddy”. It was that statement which prompted me to make an immediate call to her EAP and get a referral to a counselor. Shortly thereafter, Nikque started seeing Dr. Calandra and I couldn’t help but begin to place blame. It’s not something I normally do, but in this case I couldn’t help but feel like someone had failed this child. I just wasn’t sure who it was. Any custody order that takes a gifted, well adjusted child and takes her back to a place that frankly she passed over the first time is A BAD CUSTODY ORDER. The child she was, got accepted to Brentwood, a school who states in no uncertain terms in their handbook that they are not equipped to deal with problem children, the child she became after the October 15, 2004 order, CLEARLY was not welcomed to return. The child she was did not need ongoing therapy, if she did, it would have been documented in her preschool evaluations, the child she became did need it and that fact was reinforced by Dr. Dawn Cunnion and Judy Rothman, LCSW in their meeting with Rodney and I on February 11, 2005 and by the insurance continued approval of her visits and payment of her claims. The child she was would go to the bathroom to use the bathroom, the child she is has been prescribed a stool softener to make sure she can’t hold her stools in and to force her (hopefully) to go to the bathroom frequently. She is ashamed and embarrassed, to the point that stopping soiling herself is written on her goal chart in code “keep pants clean” so no one will know. The child who loved herself and used to take such delight in the fact that everyone loved her so much, now say’s “she’s bad”, that she “the worst daughter ever” and that she wants to die. You don’t have to take my word for it; Dr. Calandra has heard her say and has seen her act it out more than once. From 2002 until today, Rodney’s answer to the problem was to keep a steady finger pointing a finger at me while I endlessly made pleas to seek resolution.